But maybe it's you spending the money. If you have one session a week, does it matter if it is couples or individual? Cost is the same.

I agree, 90 minutes would be long for a couples session!

If that's the case, then you probably won't have the "sharing your T" problem. If it's just once, you can get through it even if somewhat uncomfortable, right?

I would ask you, if you just want your H to come once in a while, what is the goal? And can it be met by his not coming regularly, even if only for a short time? Couples therapy is difficult and challenging. Especially when there are well-established communication problems (not sure if you have this or not), it can take a number of sessions to learn effective communication (such as not interrupting, truly listening, not getting defensive, phrasing things non-judgmentally, etc.), and the T's office is a great place to practice communicating effectively with your spouse. I do remember my T basically telling my H forcefully to "let her talk!" when he kept trying to interrupt me and shut me down, talk over me, etc. It felt so good for someone to hold him at bay so I could talk. He really worked hard to get each of us to really hear the other person. This is not easy work. We both improved through the practice in T's office. I do not think it would have helped us to have an occasional session here and there, but as I said, our marriage was pretty bad, so you may have a lot less need. (I think we went for about 10 sessions, 10 weeks in a row.)

Stormy, yes, it sounds like there are different types of training for family therapists. Interesting to hear the differences! It is true that my T saw me for individual therapy, my H and I for couples therapy, and my whole family a couple of times. The couples and individual sessions were pretty "equal" for a while. But when I felt that doing therapy with my daughter was really needed, he referred the two of us out for that. He said he felt he already had too many roles with my family, and another T would be better for this mother-daughter work. I was fine with that, since I really wanted a T who was very experienced working with adolescents for this, and that is not a specialty of my T's. I think it's easier for my T that he just has one role with me now. It is less complicated that way. Phew! And we are doing some really hard work right now that is not related to my current family dynamics, and it is nice to not have that individual work "diluted" by other types of concurrent therapy. If you are primarily working on family/couples issues in your individual therapy, then i think the two types can be really complementary.