yes well see, that's exactly where I had trouble with it. If T and I are, as she says, two professionals having a discussion, that's one thing (even if one of us one just watches in silence while the other cries, or rages, or otherwise rips open her most secret recesses and sits there bleeding.... but we'll just set that aside for now at least I can deal with it)

but my mother had many children, and she did not hesitate to tell us (direct quote): "Well, if you don't want to... I have other children".

The cool promise of banishment from one's family.... the casual threat of abandonment, the prospect of her ultimate rejection, which is death.... well calculated to strike terror into the heart of a child... and it was mine, all my growing up years.
The idea that T has other children is hardly something to instill confidence in me. of course, everyone is different.