I credit this site and all of the great people I have met on here for saving my life. For some reason it never crossed my mind that I was in an abusive relationship. I knew something wasn't right but thought it was just me not being a "good wife" like you were talking about. I kept going to the doctor and having her up my dosage of medication. I have even noticed myself wanting to drink even though that is the worst thing I could do. I feel like an idiot for not seeing it. I felt like I was losing my mind and now that I am able to get on here and post I feel a huge relief.