My Support Forums - View Single Post - How do you deal with knowing you aren't Ts only patient?

RiverX · Jul 08, 2011, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chronic

I have real problems with this. When T talks about another patient I feel incredibly jealous, and its kind of like a realisation that out relationship is not special to him- I am just another patient and he's just doing his job. I hate that he speaks about other patients with the same care and compassion he shows me. I want to be Ts favourite patient, I want to be the one that he thinks about during the week, the one that he has more affection for than anyone else. I want to be the patient that makes a difference to Ts life and the one he wants to help more than anyone else.

I know it sounds selfish, but it's how I feel.

I'm wondering how others deal with it- or is it not an issue for you?

chronic,
So many different responses here.
FYI, I've been coming here for years now, and every so often someone has the courage to raise this subject.
For me it was absolute agony! Just unthinkable. I comforted myself by thinking that this is actually a painfully unnatural situation. We have our primal feelings aroused in therapy often, but we cant do the natural thing which would be to play with our siblings and have our own relationship with them. Can you imagine how unhealthy it would be if children in a family werent allowed to meet eachother!!
Now Im in training, and have my own clients with whom, between us there has developed a close and important relationship. I hate to think of them suffering what I went thro with that jelousy thing. When Im with the person, I am in a total one to one with them. And it matters to me that if I do my job right the person will hopefully eventually fulfil all their genuine relational needs outside of the therapy relationship, as it is, or should be ultimately a means to an end. I feel love for each one, but its a kind of love that has to take second place to the purpose of therapy. I am also grateful, asthey grow I grow, and each is so unique and irreplacable by anyone else. Its a real privilege to be in the position to work with people, and its a privilege for your T to work with you too. I know its difficult to be consoled, but I hope this helps.