Thank you silverbells. We are about the same age and would probably enjoy a pot of tea together and have a good chat.

Your reponse was also very supportive because even though we have been through so much together at our age we have stopped and reflected on who we really are and how we really interact with others. I understand your desire to find the gumption to go back and address that mean person. It really had nothing to do with them and everything to do with you deciding to take a stand. And I am sure if you look back there may have been many times where you didn't take a stand. Or, as with me, there were many times when I was the only one to take a stand and it did not buy me any friends. It played heavy on my psychie as I did not get a lot of support for what was clearly the right thing to do. I was somewhat revered for my courage and yet others chose to just move with the flow and not make any statements by joining in my choice to expose something terrible or negligent.

I can remember an example where someone who was and is a socialite was not watering her horses and even leaving them out in storms and they would also be left out in swarms of flyies and one could see them running around soaked in sweet just attracting more flies. And there were times I would pass by and see them standing in the hot sun all around a water troft. A thought came to my mind in wonder if there was any water in that water troft. Shortly after that this woman went away and left a neighbor that I knew in charge of taking care of the horses. One was a pony and it wasn't feeling well, the socialite instructed the neighbor if it died to call a man she listed on a piece of paper to come an bury the animal. This neighbor drove up to my house and was very upset as the pony was laying on the ground and would not get up. She wanted to help the pony and seemed to know that I would know what to do. And that is when I found out that there was no water in the troft as I suspected just the previous two days and it was often very low and dirty and slimy at best. I realized that the pony was old, the neighbor told me the pony had cushings which is something some ponies and even horses get and those animals need to drink a lot of water and can be treated very inexpensively and can feel much better. Well, I gave the neighbor some medication that I always keep on hand to combat pain in horses and ponies and I told her to give it about 40 minutes and see if it helped and to get that pony drinking and hydrated. I was right the pony got up when the medication kicked in. I told her to call the vet too and just have the socialite pay the bill.

I was very angry about this and the neighbor was too. After the socialite came home her dog got loose and it was in my yard. She was not home and I called the neighbor (the same one that took care of the sick pony) to help me catch the dog and asked what I could do with the dog. This neighbor came and got the dog and kept the dog at her house until the socialite came home. But this neighbor told me that the dog gets loose all the time and has almost gotten hit by a vehicle at least twice. So, I called the socialite woman with the horses and the dog and told her to please contain her dog and also water is free and EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU DON'T WATER YOUR HORSES. Ok, for a socialite that is not such a good thing now is it? To have people talking about her negligence. Now a couple of horse people came up to me in wonder about how someone like her could just get away with that behavior and yet everyone likes her. I simply said that it was more about being a part of the proverbial group than making any waves. Well, they did exactly what I expected. They grouped back with this socialite and they all ignored me amost avoidingly so. So they all know that I will speak up when they need that service again and thats about it. How does that grab you? Mark Twaine quote: "The good shall be lonely".

So sometimes silverbelle it is appropriate to make a stand. And other times silverbelle, it just isn't worth the effort. But when I come across an angry person who sometimes stands alone, I do understand there can be many reasons why.
I have to admit that I have some anger in storage. There have been many people who have disappointed me. But I don't hate people, I hate how some of my life experiences have accumulated without my knowing and I now address this thing called PTSD. And I know what you mean about the crust and I know what you mean about the need for seclusion. Because that is where I have been. But I am focusing on that crust that comes and goes as hope and encouragement. And in that I am truely happy for your joy in that new job, I truely know what that means, HOPE.

I gave you support silverbells but you also returned that kindness.

Open Eyes