I'm in therapy. My therapist warned me before I started that recovery for me would probably mean the end of my marriage. I didn't accept that then. It's only been the last few weeks that I've started to see leaving him as a choice. I don't know if he would go to marriage counseling, but that might be an idea. He has told me he couldn't go to therapy because he couldn't make himself vulnerable like that.

I tried to tell him that I just need to not be so dependent on him all the time (I've been moving towards more and more independence over the last three years, and that has been a direct part of my recovery from the depression that I was constantly drowning in before), but he just says that I am supposed to cling to him. It doesn't feel healthy that he wants to keep me dependent. That's what my mother did to me, and it wrecked my life. But I feel so bad about not being able to give him what he wants, and maybe deserves.

Rap