I am really sorry you had to go thru that Lynn. I do see both sides of the grieving though. With my brother I cried hard. it seemed it was beyond my control during his service. With my Dad it was a different story. I couldn't cry really. I even spoke at his funeral without crying. My mom was the type that passed out at funerals. her body couldn't handle the stress. she had to be taken away in an ambulance at my grandpa's funeral. some just can't handle it. especially being away from family out of the country I would imagine the grief. you just never know really if it is for real or like you said for the show. really sad either way.