((((((((silver))))))))) I can certainly understand where you're coming from.

In high school, i needed only 1 more course to graduate so I could go to university. My student counsellor said it wouldn't do me any good and refused to sign me up for a course. Thus, I did not get my diploma and did not graduate, let alone apply for university.

My dad used to call me 'stupid idiot' all the time. Before, during, after the beatings. Sorta became my nic name.

While I was reading this thread, I've been wondering - do you do something that gets you outside the house -such as volunteering or working? Even going to college might help - it's easier, I think than university. I know that taking care of yourself and getting support are important, but by being out of your house during the day (or night) and doing something else, might turn out well. You might get some support from the people you are with, or income. This will show your dad that you are NOT 'stupid', which you AREN'T anyway.

I hope I'm not putting pressure on you, it's just a suggestion. Hugs.