Hello, was wondering for some feedback/sharing on probably one of our biggest issues in T at the moment.

We have struggled always in acceptance of our reality, but not in the sense that we deny each other within (we have moved beyond over the years of therapy) but in the sense that we deny DID due to its reason for its being. We have been given proof to us now outside of therapy that we exhibit 'clues' to childhood trauma, and through opening to this possibility we have opened pandora's box.

We have no clear memory of abuse at a certain age to date, but we have 'been told' internally confirmation that abuse did happen and who the abuser was. We will NEVER have evidence of this. I'm not even sure we should believe it. We are 'told' things from within without knowing its source all our lives, and we now recognise where most info has come from depending on the memory, but this is different. Anyway, we are all fairly much in denial of this new info.

So my request now is have any of you had memories/knowing/suspicions of past abuse for which there is no proof or real evidence? Most of us want to believe it is made up. What if it is wrong??? I will never be able to share this information with my family, my parents, because what if I'm accusing an innocent person of horrific crimes? I want to tell my parents about all of us, but how do I explain to them why we are the way we are?

Similar to a recent thread I read here, I too have asked and prayed for years for my past to be revealed, taht I want to know. And I do, but I want more info, and what if this is all I get?? Do I accept this, work on it in therapy and move on from what may or may not be true? Or do I ignore it, and hear the words running round my head forever (its been going on for about 3 months now).

I'm sorry, I'm just confused. So much is happening inside I can't quite keep up at the moment. I need a holiday from myself!

Thank you for listening.
kp