It does sound like she is in a manic episode. I was there for so long. It won't help trying to get her to understand till she is in a more stable state of mind. If you know her so well you should be able to see when this is or when she gets to the other end of the mania.

As for you finding out and her beeing anger and distant. It could be cause she is in this mania episode and her feelings and actions are not going to be of her true self. I blamed my husband for me not being happy in our marriage. I started going out drinking and having way to much fun. Had affair and would even let him know I was. My husband tried to tell me something was wrong but I could not see anything that I was possible doing was wrong. It was him who was wrong. Finally in a more stable time he sat me down and I had to make a choice of staying and getting better or him and daughter leaving. Things are way better now and I finally accepted and learned it was my BP causing the spending, affairs, and lots more issues. If you had been to your wifes appoitments with the doctor who prescribed her the anti depressants he may listen to you if you reach him. It's really hard to say what you can do right now. Just don't give up. I have been dealing with my illness since I was first diagnosed over 20 yrs ago but just recently learned what I really had and accepted it. Been married to my high school sweetheart for 17 yrs. So you still have a chance to work things out.

forgive77 has a point, you need to get help for yourself. See a therapist first and explain what is going on. This is not your fault and it sounds like you really care and love her.

As for your kids it would benefit them to see a counselor. It effected my daughter really bad but now things are getting better. Also not to cause you any worry but when I would take my daughter with me in this manic state I was no good for her. I had taken her with me at one time where we went to a lake. I was so manic and drank to much. She was drowning and I could not do anything to help her. Luckly my friends were being watchful of all the children and saved her. So I would be careful with your children. I am not saying she could harm or put them in harms way cause I don't know her. Just wanted you to know that it could be possible.

Wish there was more that I could share.