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Jul 09, 2011, 06:10 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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Hi ~ I think when we're severely depressed, we just naturally assume that we're not "worthy" of love or friendship because we feel so awful ! Depression makes you feel horrible about yourself, and then we blame ourselves for everything -- we see things NOT as they are, but as we FEEL.
Why not talk to your doctor and see about getting on an antidepressant -- even if it's temporary? I'm chronically depressed, so i've been on an antidepressant for years -- but it surely made me understand why I was feeling like I was. Everything is NOT my fault !! Perhaps people avoided me because I was always "down" and that in turn made THEM feel "down." Now that I'm not depressed anymore, I don't notice those things -- or else i don't let them bother me. LOL
Your wife seems to be playing games with you -- it isn't fair, and I'm surprised you've let her get away with it for so long -- BUT feeling as depressed as you do I understand. It's hard to make ANY decisions when you're depressed.
Talk to your doctor -- there's no shame in needing an antidepressant. I know alot of us don't like to take medications, but sometimes that's what it takes. You'd "medicate" if you had diabetes -- well, depression is a disease too that must be controlled.
God bless & take care. I pray that things improve for you. Hugs, Lee 
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