wanttoheal,

Getting into trouble for things you didn't do.... Oh so familiar. When I was much younger, I was often angry at my mum because she told my dad 'on me', and I thought she was the one causing trouble because I didn't believe I had done anything wrong.

I had all the same issues with conflicting dates and appointments or agreeing to meet someone and then not turning up. This for me over the years resulted in cutting all social stuff down to a very manageable level. It meant being less social and more of a loner but it was all just so exhausting. The only answer I have in dealing with it is to simplify your life.

Keep a notebook and a calendar handy. It takes a bit of practise to get things written down. Asking the others to use it too helps. Might be a bit of a struggle to get their co-operation but I have been known to resorted to a bit of bribery and corruption to get things done my way.

I'm the oldest of five, we all have children and our children have children, It's so difficult keeping up with the social stuff. Thankfully my family just see me as quite and a bit of a loner and don't push me too much.

Guilt is a killer. The guilt I felt while struggling to bring up three kids... Where my kids were concerned, I was not afraid of all the **** that was going on on the inside. After one of my kids was almost in an accident, I screamed at the others on the inside to take better care of my children or I would kill myself. Drastic I know but it was really tough going back then. And that was long before I was diagnosed. The struggle to understand what was going on and get well was all for my kids. I owe them my life. If I hadn't had them, I wouldn't be here today.

Life was a roller coaster ride back then. Thankfully I love to read, I began to read every self-help book I could get my hands on. It's been a long hard road but I have a handle on it now. And I'm in control. So much so that there are times when I really think it's gone, finally faded away. Then something happens to stress me out and there it is. I don't think it will ever 'go away' but I do cope a whole lot better these days - most of the time.

Taking care of yourself, eating, sleeping, exercising helps you take control of things. Someone has to be in control and it might as well be you.

I also found things go easier when I negotiated and compromised and made requests rather than demands. There was less aggression and it's the aggression I think that's scares us the most. Acting like an older sister and giving lots of reassurance that you will take care of them now like they took care of you when you needed it the most helps too.