..the pieces that haunt me are the ones that are just fragments, intuition, a few sensory "flashback?" pieces. And I too will never be able to confirm what part of me wants me to admit happened actually happened. So I fight myself, I fight my therapist, but slowly I have found myself writing in my journal as if I am admitting it. And my gut feeling is that I am right. But I will never know. So I try, really, really hard to give myself permission to write and think whatever comes up and then I share it with my therapist on the repeated assumption that I am not telling her it happened I am just sharing the thoughts etc that have surfaced. ...

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This may not help you at all, but I thought I would share. I can put my Ogre story up on my blog for you to read if you want. Let me know if that would be any help.