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This is going to be a long one.
I am able to stay on my dad’s insurance (through the military) because we file paperwork that says I’m incapacitated for now and he pays for more that 50% of my needs. We started doing that when I was 21 and when we sent in all the paperwork last year they only renewed my insurance for one year and said that if we want to keep doing this we’re going to have to get a letter from my doctor saying that I am permanently disabled by my bipolar. Private insurance is so expensive (we don’t pay for tri care) and I have amazing prescription coverage and low co pays. I don’t even know if a private provider would cover my pre existing conditions.
Now, I know that having BP will be a life long struggle but there is something about this title that just makes me feel horrible. It makes me feel like there is no hope. How can my doctor tell me that I’m going to get a grasp on this and feel normal one day and write me a letter saying I’m permanently disabled at the same time? I’m going to ask him if he writes the letter if he’s stretching the truth to help me keep my insurance or if this is a serious label. I know there are a lot of people who are on disability because of their BP and that’s fine, I don’t judge them or feel weird about that but there is something about calling myself disabled that really bothers me.
I don’t think I’m better than anyone, please don’t misunderstand. I had a really hard time when I got diagnosed in the first place and now this feels like another label of something “wrong” with me. How will I ever feel normal? I guess I will just have to do what I have to do in order to make sure that I’m able to keep myself healthy.
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