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Jul 09, 2011, 01:36 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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So the last couple weeks, I've been riding on the high of having my gastric bypass surgery, and the initial weight loss. It's been kind of great.
But the last couple days.....I've been feeling that sense of darkness creeping back. It's gross and I've tried to push it away, and I've sat thinking about how my T would help me through it and what she would say. I was able to keep it at bay doing that, but yesterday morning, while I was walking my dog, I heard this sound.
I heard this sound and it was the sound of metal sliding across medal. It was the sound of the shed doors in the backyard of my childhood home, but it wasn't. That noise took me instantaneously back to that place. I got goosebumps...I felt like I had been snatched, as if strapped to a bungee cord that had been stretched all the way and that I had been pulled inward. I felt scared and little. I tried talking to my parts about it, but all I could see was Nissa standing by the shed...looking like she didn't want to go in but she had too or else.
I told myself that that noise was a long time ago, that it wasn't now and that we were all okay....but it didn't really help. Since yesterday, I have been stuck somewhere floating inside and I can't tell if we're stuck or if we're hiding. Either way...I don't like it. Why did we have to hear that sound.....why does everything have to come back? 
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