I always call it shopping therapy. It has been better since I have been medicated (three months). I have been filling my "shopping cart" online and then deleting it. All the pleasure of shopping with none of the buyers remorse or empty pocket book.
The negative tapes, I have tried unsuccessfully to explain it my whole life. I can't just stop it, I can't make it positive, it feeds itself and spirals out of control. It is one of the worse parts, because it will get me so into a funk about my own worthlessness, and others don't understand why I just don't snap out of it. It's like I want to be tortured or feel pain.