I've been in therapy for years off and on. A year and a half with current T, and I still have a long way to go.

When I got married, I was the damsel in distress, and he was the knight in shining armour who came along and rescued me. But I should have worked my own way through my problems, and not just run away from them like I did. All I do is run away and avoid.

I don't know that it's the relationship that is unhappy. Maybe it's all me. I complain too much. He's been confronting me about stuff that I have told people starting to get back to him, and speculation he hears about me pulling away and why. I probably ought to keep my mouth shut and just deal with it silently. But that's what my family of origin expected me to do. They said it was just me, and I had nothing to complain about, and I was just selfish. He's telling me I shouldn't be so self-centered now. I ought to pay more attention to him and understand him and support him like he does me.

I found someone to watch the girls, so he's coming with me to California, and we'll bring our son who is 8. I hope he doesn't lecture and grill me and question me all the way to California and back. I didn't really want to have to do all the driving myself, but I don't know if this will be better or not. I don't know how long he would have sulked if I had not done it this way. He says I never spend any time with him. There might be a reason for that. I don't like spending time with him much. But he doesn't want to hear that, and I guess I should like to spend time with him.

I'll check in when I can. I really do appreciate all of your support and advice and understanding.

Thanks,
Rap