Hey there. It's been a while since I've been on here, and I'm sorry it's always for help. As much as I need it, I hate asking for it. Seems so selfish.

Anyway, my life seems to be heading down the path of major depression again. I'm still at my low-paying job because I can't seem to find another, I can't see my friends because I don't make enough money to hang out with them like I want, and I'm gaining some weight back due to the stress of work and my overall living situation.

Like right now, it's hard to type this.

I feel run-down. My work is taxing. I work at a bookstore, which doesn't seem like it'd be that stressful, right? But it is. I have to get my work done, do practically the work of a manager even though I'm not one, help people when they need it, lift heavy items, and still find some way to be positive even when I feel my life is passing me by.

Then I come home, and I'm so tired from work that either I sleep too much or not enough because my mind won't stop racing.

I hardly see my family due to my hectic, ever-changing schedule. And when I do have a day off (like today), I'm so tired and depressed I feel sick. Weak.

I live alone, so there is no one to rely on but me. My only visitor is my boyfriend. It seems I'm pushing everyone else away because I can't afford to be with them...

I just don't know what to do. Going to the doctor would cost too much, which is why I haven't gone. I make barely enough to cover my bills. Extras are out of the question.

I feel so lost and lonely. Reaching out seems pointless, as it seems my family and friends think I'm feeling sorry for myself. I just don't know what to do anymore.