My problem with depression just gets worse as time goes on. Well, now and then, I get a few good days and think I'm turning things around, but then that just collapses.

My significant other is away visiting his children far away. I was fine for the first 3 or 4 days after he left. Since 2 days ago, I have been severely depressed. I think it may be because there is no one in my life other than him. I know a normal reaction to that can be "What are you doing to connect with others?" I have been told that by therapists.

I have never been diagnosed with social avoidant personality disorder. There truly is something very abnormal in my isolating tendencies. My mother told me I was that way from the age of being a toddler. It would mean a lot to me if the professionals would understand how hard it is to live with that inhibiting tendency.

I leave my television on in the living room now when I go into the bedroom to lie down for the night. I leave the television on because it creates a sense of me not being completely alone. After it has been on during the evening, I am afraid to turn it off. I think I am losing my sanity. No professional I've talked to seems to understand my problem at all. All I get is a new prescription for a new anti-depressant.

I strongly believe that psychiatrists do not look for or have any willingness to acknowledge personality disorders except in the case of severe abnormal behavior, especially antisocial behavior. I am well-behaved and have never been in trouble with the law.

By giving me prescription after prescription for one anti-depressant after another, they are refusing to hear my real problem.

I am in despair.