I completely understand!!! I was hospitalized for the first time in September '10 and I had no idea I was as bad as I was. I hated everything!! Family, Noise, light, hygiene..you name it I despised it. After the week was over in the hospital though I felt a little bit better, then again I looked at it like a vacation from my everyday responsibilites. That part was nice, I hated to leave but I couldn't wait to get home.