Thanks very much for your replies and advice.

When I last see her last weekend she was on a major cleaning spree throughout the house; this is quite typical of her when we've split up before. She hasnt shown much interest in talking to me and often says 'enough has been said and talking about it wont change anything'.

She isnt physically angry to me, I can just sense she doesnt want me around and doesnt want to talk to me about anything other than the kids. She is quite blunt about us and our relationship -thats all history to her.

She is still in the house with both the kids and her mum is always there. When it's like this (me out the house) I think she feels safer as she gets good support through goverment benefits if she works a certain amount of hours a week. She has been doing a few more shifts lately since we split; it's like she's trying to block out the problems and just get on with things and used to being on her own.

She had already been a little irresponsible with our youngest (4 yrs old), taking him to a friends house up the road and sitting with him in the friends living room with a group of adults drinking and smoking. This was the weekend after we split (2 weeks ago). Luckily her daughter (teenager) came home and found her there with her little brother and put her mother straight about what she was doing.

I find it hard to see her enough right now to try and work out what mood she is in. As time goes by I'll try and make more regular visits to see the kids and of course I'll be able to see her more. However, it feels like her mother is always there watching over me!!!

I know she has been to the doctors and that she is now reducing her dosage of antidepressant. I dont know if she has spoken to the doctor about her behaviour in which case she might well have convinced the doctor she simply doesnt need them any more - I just dont know. Would reducing the dosage have much affect within a week or so do you know (from 40mg to 20mg)?

She started the affair at the beginning of May. It wasnt an emotional affair as she had met this guy that night (at least not at first). She has been to see him twice since then before I confronted her about it and we split. So its hard to work out how long she has been going through this mood swing (lying, cheating, over spending etc.). It's about 2 months this weekend (since she met this guy) but i guess that she could have been in this mood swing for ages before actually having the affair!

Also, as i'm typing this. Her teengae daughter just told me that her mother has been away since friday and that her brother is at the house with the kids! I'm off to take them out for a few hours.