After a botched plastic surgery I am permanently disabled , 24-7 pain and almost bedridden . I have lost my career and almost everything I once had . My home is now in foreclosure and I have been in a state of shock unable to even go outside for over a year . I am so afraid of medication as I do not believe in it , I am so afraid I will be put away soon as I live with suicidal thoughts and do not even want to get out of bed most days . I had a wonderful life before this and now I am in a living hell with this injury .

I have been taking a little pain medication and a little xanax so I do not completely go crazy but soon with the foreclosure I will be on the streets and I am in a living hell . The times I have gone for therapy they wanted me on all kinds of drugs and wanted me to go the the Pavilion at McLean Hospital for individuals requiring expert psychiatric and neuralgic help , I decided against it becuase it was just another program that used drugs . I am afraid to even take a bath most days and am alone and need to do something but I am just completely gone .