Hi MusicRulesMe -- Hmmm....I'm not from the UK and don't really know much about self-injury, so unfortunately I do not have any wise advice to offer, just support. I do understand the "Why don't I have any self-respect?" issue, because I've been there, with situations similar to the one you described.
I sincerely hope things start looking up soon.
((((MusicRulesMe))))