mmmm.... I understand how you would feel that way. I'm sorry you felt so bad that the urge to cut was there. I'm glad you tried.

While there is absolutely nothing wrong with reaching out, I might gently suggest that email is not a good way to do it. A phone call with a voice on the other end of the line can do wonders to lift you. It's not a burden at all if he told you to do it. Also, there is much less left open to interpretation.

I must admit that when I first read what you wrote, my first thought was for your safety. Despite a history of not doing it, there is always a first time. I think your therapist was prudent in his choice to ask you to call 911. It may not have been what you wanted to hear, but he ultimate concern at the time, I can assure you, was for your safety.

Also, what did he mean by borderline? Borderline what? Suicidal? Borderline for admission to hospital? Borderline for cutting? That could be interpreted in many ways, other than just a description of a "personality disorder".

Above all else I think you need to tell him face to face that his words led you to feel ashamed.

Kudos to you for doing the right thing. Next time, if you tell him so, I suspect your therapist will respond in the right way.

Peace to you.