Defeated Oh, what you said resonated deep within my gut. In fact that is where I felt your pain. It's a familiar feeling, believe me. That yearning for intimacy and yet............ knowing that it gets pushed away, by you and others.

You can read and read and read to understand this, which is a great start then after that......... what's next? I took it upon myself to learn Dialectal Behavior Therapy, it's specifically designed for these symptoms. It's symptom management through learning skills. This is one suggestion for you that has worked for me, not all the time, mind-you, but some of the time.

I used to say to myself......... what's the use, it will all end badly........... now I say............. I'll try and use my skills. For me, it's all about feeling intense emotions, immediately loosing my perspective and doing something impulsively which has it's consequences and usually it's a negative consequence.

There is another book that I wanted to recommend "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. It taught me that it's okay to protect yourself from people that you feel are unsafe. So, I turned it around, it's okay to protect myself if I don't feel safe. This book has helped me with boundaries, so I can distance myself when I am not feeling I can control my intense emotions.

You are an excellent writer Defeated !! And thank you for your help with my kitty too