Thank you so much, Leed, and Hope_Walker. I just got back from getting ice cream. It wasn't the best thing to do, but I feel like I kinda ran out of things to do at the moment. I actually do feel better. Though I think it's because I read you responses too.

Hope Walker, you know, that two months for every year thing that you said, actually makes me feel better. Like I'm realizing it's going to take time to heal.

I broke up with him. Right now we are still friends. But I still feel an awful sadness sometimes. I think it's good that we broke up right now.

I need to trust. And that's scary. Because you just don't know. I'm trying to do what my heart feels is right. I'm trusting my gut. I guess I'm being "brave" and courageous. But when I feel sad like this, it's easy to want to go back to him.

For instance, yesterday, he was over at my house and I said to him (through the bathroom door mind you...) does he want to maybe get back together. But it was weird. I didn't feel right saying it. It didn't feel right, I almost didn't really want it. I didn't.

Then, he ended up saying, he wants to give me some time. And I felt relief. I felt glad. I think maybe that's a sign. I need to listen to myself.

I just don't get why I feel sad.

Thank you, for listening / reading this if you have, I know it's kind of long.