I am currently struggling with the thought that it is my body, so why does it matter what I do to it? So, a little background on me.....I was diagnosed with depression 5 years ago. I have struggled with self-injury for the last 3 years. I have had two hospitalizations. Currently the urges to injure have been very frequent and very intense. I am to the point where I am having the thought of "Who cares, it is my body, I should be able to do what ever I want to it". The last time I had this thought was right before my last hospitalization. I am afraid if I don't get things under control, then that is where I might end up. I know that my husband doesn't want me to injure, and that is the only thing right now that makes me hesitate when I do injure. I don't want to stop injurnig for myself, I like the way it numbs me from all of the emotional crap I am feeling. However, I do want to stop injuring for my husband. Using my husband as a reason not to injure worked for a while, but I am starting to not care anymore. If I don't find a way to want to stop for myself, then I don't know how it will be possible for me to stop.