Hi Rose,

I'll talk about me fist so that I can end with you. I don't necessarily have a problem in social situations or meeting people ... IF and WHEN I want to. I am easy to talk to, funny, sarcastic, enjoyable. I am capable of saying those things because I believe them to be true. However, I am none of those things when I don't want to be (i.e. when I'm depressed). I am in a master's program and have huge potential to meet like-minded people who believe in and care about many of the same things I do. However, I found myself in class retreating, folding into myself and adopting an "I don't NEED anyone else"` attitude. And while I realize that I CAN function with no one but myself, it's also quite miserable. I guess the issue I have with social situations and friends is, at this point in my life, I feel like I am in the relationship FOR them. I'm not getting anything out of the relationship. I find myself with absolutely NO desire to hang out with, chill with, have coffee/dinner with ANYONE when I feel depressed. Being with and dealing with people who want something from me (emotion/feeling/companionship/relationship) is almost more than I can can handle. I feel completely fake and that I am in their company for their benefit and for the sacrifice of mine.

Okay, so on to you ... the following is based on my own insight and experience as I have nothing else to offer. I wonder if you feel socially avoidant because you're actually depressed. When I don't feel like smiling, it can be difficult, and quite annoying, to try and convince others that everything is just peachy. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you aren't scared or anxious about being social or meeting new people, it's the "front" that you have to put up to avoid the never-ending questions of "what's wrong with you?" that drives your desire to be alone. Feel free to tell me I'm full of S***, but I think I understand where you're at. I understand that you don't want to "entertain" people and I don't think you should do anything you don't WANT to do. But, take a second of your time to sit back and think ... would any of the social interactions that you avoid ACTUALLY be of benefit to you and your mental state?

Lemme know...