Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
I can very much relate to this. I have re-enacted the patterns of my childhood throughout my adulthood - all done on a subconscious level. I believe the first step is awareness. And then allowing the feelings that it generates to come to the surface and be recognized. Now that I am more in tune with my feelings, I can feel the warning signs more clearly.....My current struggle is having the strength to act differently in that familiar environment.....
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As a teenager I definitely unconsciously recreated potential abuse scenarios. One way of understanding it is that we try to recreate the abuse situation hoping for an outcome where we are in control, or where the potential abuser turns out to be a knight in shining armour and a better ending results.
I suffered SA for years starting as a very small child at the hands of 2 RC priests who also abused other family members. As a teenager I began flirting with priests; at 16 I "fell in love" with a priest who then tried to get me into his bed. Later I married an ex-seminarian. Luckily I worked through my issues and have been married 32 years.