Dude, you gotta read Marion Solomon. She says clearly that narcissism is due to narcissistic wounds - a key concept that most people dismiss entirely when accusing someone of narcissism. Narcissistic wounds occur during childhood, and people who are wounded thus are DOOMED by factors beyond their control to be preoccupied with healing those wounds. They're preoccupied with themselves for good reason - they need to procure and integrate stuff that others got automatically. It can be done and it takes an enormous amount of work and focus and the ability to look excruciating pain in the face for seemingly endless periods of time, but you can figure out what the essence of your narcissistic wounds are (tell whomever it was who labeled you thus that they could have elaborated and been more helpful) and heal them, systematically (or unsystematically, if one of your wounds has led you to ADD!). Really - read Narcissism and Intimacy. It will help.