I've had so many different bottoms, since I first tried starting to quit in 2005. Usually it's because I'm so disgusted with how out of control my life has gotten. This last one was a bit different though. I passed out and fell during a blackout and seriously cut myself. I somehow made it to bed, but when I came to in the morning I couldn't figure out why there was blood everywhere. Finally pieced the evidence together. But I knew I was still probably drunk and I also knew I needed stitches. But I didn't go to the ER because up here, if they think you have a drinking problem they report you to the ministry of transportation and your licence gets suspended until you can prove you've been sober for a year. I didn't want to lose my licence so I took my chances, and didn't go to the hospital. STUPID. I wound up with a very serious infection and was on antibiotics for 28 days. I could have died. That wasn't my last drunk - I did drink once more after that, after I lost my job, right before going into rehab this last time for what I seriously hope is the last time.

I'm feeling stonger about my sobriety than I ever have before, because I realize that drinking is only going to kill me either quick in an accident or slow from the damage to my body. And for now I'm choosing to live.

--splitimage