i reached a point where i couldn't live without drinking and i couldn't stand living if i did drink.
i was at an impass. it was a do or die situation. i even thought my son would be better off with me "gone". i felt as tho i no longer had my soul. receiving a mustard seed of hope from a prayer, i opted to try once more even tho i was worn out and felt so helpless. if i failed again i had the other plan. i gave that last try to stop drinking with complete abandon. i was fighting for my very life. i surrendered to the truth-i was powerless unless i turned it over. i did and 21 years later my life continues to be joyous and free.
thank you, leo, for this thread. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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