Well I still dont like it but talked to T this morning and she is going to let me hold off on making the decision today and tomorrow and I can come in on my appt time wednesday morning to make the decision. She also said to come prepared to go to hospital from appt because she is almost certain that is what we will do. For her to say that when i know she has tried her darndest to keep me from going into the hospital again cuz she really didnt want that to happen.