Yes, but Perna, reality in our minds is "our" reality and without it where would we begin? I have had people challenge my perception of my reality and all it did to me was set up in a state of confusion....... who's right. To base your reality on other's opinions is not an accurate picture of who you are. It's their opinion. It's a judgment, not a true fact. There are no emphiracle studies being conducted at the moment you ask to prove they are 100% correct. Take for example, the old saying.... three people see an auto accident and all three see it happening in a different way.
I'm not disputing your definition of a "reality check". It's always a good thing to ask and check things out to see how the other person is feeling. What I am getting at is that to base your own reality upon how others feel about you will only create a false sense of self. It can also set one up for feelings of being minimized, muted, erased, crazy making, etc.
I'm glad this has worked for you Perna, I really am. For me, my perception of reality was soo challenged growing up that I became dependent upon how others saw me. What was mirrored back to me was that I was not "okay".
I guess we all have to pick and choose just who's reality we trust and want to validate. Ultimately, we are responsible and in doing so we have to accept the consequences, if any.
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Originally Posted by Perna
I think it was easy, for me, because I was so self-involved (in my struggles) to think I hid well from others; when, if you think about it, this dx is not a shy/blushing violet sort of dx? How did you get the dx if some outside person didn't give it to you? Might not have taken them very long to give it, either 
Embracing the struggle and struggling with it openly was a better way for me to cope and come to some understanding of how it was with me and how others saw me, etc. We think we look out of our eyes and see how things are, clearly, but one of the biggest problems I have is "reality checking", checking to make sure what I see meshes well with what others see. All of that is done through communication, me telling another what I think/feel and the other responding, both to what I think feel and sharing themselves and what they think feel. One cannot "fix" anything alone, without an honest interchange; just looking at something or reading a book, thinking one understands, that's all happening in our heads, not in the "real" world. I have found for me, one has to engage in the real world where the other people are doing the same, in order to have a real, full, "complete" life. |