I am sorry about what happened to you. I am a "man" and understand.

My wife is the bipolar one in this marriage. She had an affair with a psychologist (not hers-she was not yet diagnosed) who promised her the world and told her everything she wanted to hear to get what he wanted, which was a really attractive woman to play around with. He knew she was married and knew she had small children, but did not care. One day he told her, "Oh, by the way, I am getting married this Saturday, but you can still be my main mistress." Turns out that he had not only a fiance, but two or three more mistresses, as well.

The good psychologist we went to see to try to salvage our marriage is quite positive my wife was carefully manipulated by the bad psychologist. He told us that despite being middle-aged and balding he would have no problem going to a bar, picking out the woman with a mental illness and sleeping with her that night if he wanted to. Psychologists have that much knowledge of human emotion and can do much evil if they have no morals, like the bad one I promised my priest I would not kill. Fortunately, most of them are good people.

Yes, allme, you messed up. But the fact that you know and accept it means you are a decent person. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you are like my wife, who was extremely manic at the time, the tharapist had a major hand in manipulating, using, and abusing you, and you really had no control over your actions. I am the guy who was cheated on by the manic spouse and I understand, and no one can judge either of us until they have been in our shoes.

Find a GOOD tharapist who can help you work through the guilt and anger. It has been almost 4 years and my wife still is scarred from what she did and for allowing herself to be manipulated like that, even though mania and an unscrupulous psychologist were behind it. You will be in my thoughts and prayers!