Last night, even though I've been trying not to, I cut myself again. I took a dry erase marker to the full-length mirror in my room and started writing down all the things I hated about myself and ran out of room. I then laid down and tried to sleep, and ended up lying awake for a few hours, frightened by my own thoughts.

I only have one friend that I still talk to regularly, and I typically try to cheer him up if he's upset. Today I tried to turn to him, and he simply said "Sorry, I don't know what to tell you, I'm bad with emotions". And I felt so alone when he said that, and scared that if I try to seek comfort somewhere else I'll get a similar reply.

I'm not looking for pity, I just needed to get this out. Sometimes the thoughts in my head scare me, and my mood swings seem to be worse and longer now when I'm in my depressive state. I don't even know if I'm posting this in the right area, or if I should put it in somewhere else, like Coping With Emotions or Depression, I can't stop second-guessing myself even on something that trivial.