Hi, We sound an aweful alot alike. I'm about 9 months in. I started three days before I had a total meltdown over a $70 doctor bill. I was taken via police car to the Co. Mental hospital on my daughters birthday. It was a little drastic probably, but I had nothing to do with it. But that's how strongly I reacted when nothing in my life was staying in it's compartment any more.

I only learned of my diagnosis about two months ago from the insurance co. Major depressive disorder-sever, without physcohtic episodes. It doesn't matter to me. I am a lot better and what I have found is just to take your time gaining trust. Mostly that they know what they are talking about. You will probably learn that you have built up incredible denial. I was literally mad at myself for being tricked by my own brain.

My journey has gone in steps. Every once in a while, I have a "revelation" of some kind. Sometimes big, sometimes small, but they've added up. When i first came here, I wrote about the biggest one. Maybe you can find it. While the Total High I got from it didn't last, a lot of it did. I am not a searing ball of ragey nerves any more.

If you even have a question about therapy, I think I've figured out a lot of it. Try to look at yourself from outside yourself and become interested in your symptoms, thoughts, everything.

Hang in there. Amy