I guess I'm going to give you a little different advice than what the others are saying... I hope no one finds it offensive.

I've been through a similar situation with my fiance, except he was the one that "cheated." He didn't really; we had an extremely messy break up and an extremely messy get back together with a lot of miscommunication, not to mention a 6 hour time difference at the time. It took me a looong time to come to terms with the fact that we both played a part in what happened. I was, to put it bluntly, a b---- to him. I really regret everything I put him through. Your case is a little different, though, because I truly feel that you did not, under any circumstances, no matter how you look at it, did not cheat. You should have absolutely no guilt. I don't care what some therapist says; she's wrong. But here's what I learned from my ordeal... I had to WANT to let it go. Which took a long time. There's something comforting about being in pain; something about being in control when the other is asking for forgiveness (even when forgiveness should never have been asked for). I had to finally say "I am done hurting the man I love. I forgive him. I forgive me. It is time to move on." Since then, I'm able to look back on those events with understanding and no emotion.

Honestly, I'm very lucky that my fiance stayed with me, that he still wants to marry me. He's helped me grow more than any other person, save my parents. But, truly, if anyone came to me and told me they were with someone like who I was, I would have told them to move on, unless their significant other was willing to change, willing to stop indulging in the pain. I guess that's what I"m saying to you. Have a conversation with him. Tell him that you realize he is hurt, and you're not trying to pretend it never happened. If he's not willing to hear you, and understand the pain he's putting you through, and most importantly, let go of the past to save the future, then you should move on. He has to be trying.

I do agree with Yoda, though. If he continues to be controlling, even if he doesn't bring up what happened any more, don't let him continue to abuse you in other ways. Remember, you are your number one priority.

Again, I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my advice, but these are just my feelings, my experiences.