My husband caused my current depression by having an affair, treating me poorly for a year and a half, then leaving me for 6 weeks, then continuing to lie to me and keep in contact with his little sweetie for another 5 months till he finally broke off contact. We have been going to therapy which has largely focused on him and his conflict phobia up until now. And I am the depressed one.

Each person will probably deal with things in different ways. My husband is more supportive now that he realizes some of my behaviors which he didn't like (and didn't tell me about) were related to my illness. He's actually very good to me now and quite concerned and helpful.

Depression WILL affect everyone in the family. You should go to couseling even if he won't--will help you deal with what is there.