I have decided to try my best to look at this in a positive way- and a positive sign that this just must be a sign for my boyfriend and I to take another step financially. It is hard though with racing emotions and thoughts, and my head feeling like I am not really here.
Oh and just by waiting ( i did not tell him i could not accept the answer due to I knew at the time he was upset too) I got my confirmation on what we are doing for vaca.. I just need to learn to wait a little bit with things.
I hope this feeling in my head goes away prior to us leaving for vaca; i need to just breath in and out.