There are some things that may be triggering, but I have tried to keep as much of the detail out as possible.

Hi. About 10 years ago my now ex husband and I were standing on a beach in the Gambia and although red flags were flying, he decided to just go for a shallow paddle -as we were due to leave that day and he wanted to feel the water before we went. I won't go into lots of details here, but in summary he got dragged out to sea by the waves and it could not have been anything other than a miracle that he survived.

For a long time afterwards I couldn't go near the sea and my ex couldn't go swimming anywhere. But bit by bit we challenged our anxieties, first in a shallow pool, then on a shallow beach etc, etc,

I still have some difficulties and the only way I can continue to deal with it and function without stopping my kids enjoy the sea is to have certain safety things in place, won't let my kids go near the sea unless the tide is coming in and am making sure they have swimming lessons. I also have to accept that the anxieties are my problem, not theirs and I try to balance between ensuring they are aware of the dangers, but not putting my excessive unrealistic anxieties onto them.

It is not easy. I am learning relaxation / mindfulness techniques to manage my anxiety and the strategies I use are a mixture of the breathing, but also some mental reality checks - i.e. it is as safe as I can make it, yes accidents can happen but the chances are low. Distraction can work for me too.

Without doubt I don't think I could be where I am now with it, without T - I am not sure whether you have one, but I think unless we learn to control our anxieties, they can spiral out of control and get worse, especially the phobic ones and ultimately can impact on people around us.

Good luck with this, anxiety is such a horible thing to experience, but I do think it can be managed with help and time. SD