...(last thing) - but this is the whole POINT of everything we've all been discussing on here. You CANNOT let someone's opinion of you define who you are, define your worth. It's SO CRAZY-irrelevant. And THIS is why I'm afraid I feel marriage is so unnatural. i guess people can pull it off, but melding two identities - phew-WEEEE! How on EARTH? I've just let his being-bugged-by-me define who I am. He doesn't let my RAGE at him as a person define who he is (maybe he does - he's kind of messed up). But it's just really so irrelevant to me - we've been split for five years. I really need to work on letting go of their opinion of me. It's just EATEN me alive for YEARS. It doesn't matter - it doesn't matter - it doesn't matter.