Thanks Sara,
I was pretty sure I knew what the term meant. I wanted to see if anyone else out there heard of the same thing.

He was first diagnosed back in the 80's with clinical depression. But then over the years, with others and this one being the worst, his psychatrist thinks that maybe there might be some bi-polar element going on. He was delusional, so his dr. put him on Geodon for psychosis, but he never was diagnosed as psychotic, but this medication did wonders for that Now his therapist is wondering if maybe that is what's happening. He had surgery (2009)and was really doing very well up until the day of the surgery and then afterward everything went haywire. The one and only med that he was taking (Luvoxx) stoped working and then it was a downward spiral, and had to be hospitalized. (voluntarilly)

He does take his meds now, but it was a problem last year. I had to be "Nurse Ratchett" and give them to him. Now I count the pills to make sure that he is getting them.

We see his therapist together - in fact we are going tonight. He also said about writing anything that looks funny, or making lists of things that he can do. Right now the motivation is not there. But that makes me feel like the parent with a child but we are both adults. And yes, I am afraid that if I probe too much or ask too many questions, it might make him relapse again. But his therapist tells me that it's ok to take the kid gloves off now, since he is well enough - last year was not a good time, and he said some pretty mean things then, and it still haunts me now, but figured it was the illness talking, but now he says that he dosent remember them. If I notice anything strange, I'm to let him know right away.

Here's the kicker - He did have an advanced directive set up before all this happened. In fact, it was almost finished. Now he is working with his peer specialist to get it finished - this time I hope he does and gets it signed.

I forgot to mention that all this happened during the holidays in 2009. This year is better that the previous, but still a long way with the work that needs to be done. I can go on and on and write a book, but I think I'll stop here. Thanks for listening.