Well I knew it was heading this way but was trying my hardest to control it. I do admit I at least now don't run away from home to the wrong things like before. I want help now. So I guess thats good and thinking that means I am better in a way. I think T may send me to hospital today. I wanted to go on my own but have tooo many responsibilties here at home so trying to pull through this on my own. Not sure if I should just hide what I am going through with T, which I am good at or should I tell her and just let her know that if I really get to the deep end I will call her.

Well I just wanted to let those that know me here know that I may not be around only cause of this. Being here really helps me and has taught me to accept that I have this illness. I thank all of you for your support and being able to share things that I know are hard for any of us to go through. It has helped though cause I am still home and not out being the bad person that I used to be. So thank you guys.