Im guessing its to do with the bpd. Ive always liked to have lots of friends and to be honest I do like people, but I shut off from them. I think its because of sensitvity and not to be hurt. It has meant being terribly lonely, a chronic emptiness, and it difficult for people to meet that. I mean Im very sensitive person, then people can be a bit afraid of neediness - not sure if that is bpd but I think so.