(((PTSD)))) Flashbacks are the worst.. uggg. So sorry you are going through them at this point in your healing. When I was doing my trauma work, I would email my T at all hours of the night. It was our understanding that he would not respond and may not even read them. But it was a tool for ME to use to be able to express the pain in a safe way. See if your T will allow you to do something like this with an agreement between the two of you. I know what it is to have those things that have to be said to a real person but not just anyone. I get it.