Quote:
Originally Posted by poetgirl76
frankly, I am not at the point yet where I am convinced that living is a good thing.....I am barely holding on and not committed to giving up sui as an option. it's still there. still beckoning......the only thing, or one thing, stopping me, is that there is no painless way to do it, for me, or for those left behind to deal with the pain of my choices.....maybe that's good. maybe it's good that I have a fear of pain, physical pain.....and some thought for the emotional pain of others......although my pain is feeling so huge I WANT to carve it out of me......
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Poet,
I've been reading your suicidal threads and I can't help but feel so sad for your children. My mother killed herself, and she left behind four young children, including me. If you are worried about there being no painless way to die, think instead about the lifelong pain and suffering you will put upon those precious babies. Seriously poet, you have no idea how bad it is to lose your mother that way! You never get over it! I can tell you how bad it is, every day when i remember that my mom was in so much pain that she didn't even think of us...we weren't worth living for.
All i can suggest is to get some photographs of your kids and put them where you can see them at all times so that when you are in so much emotional pain you can remember them. My mother loved me, but in that deep abyss was able to forget i existed for long enough to follow through. Please think about that. You had those children and you owe it to them to be there!