It sounds like it was indeed a rough session. And, from your response of having to cover your ears, it seems like there may be some history of having to protect yourself from others when you allow yourself to be vulnerable with them. And then add on anything that feels embarrassing and it feels like it's all too much. And T is trying to give a new response, develop a new neuropath way to show that not all people will respond to you with hatred or meanness. But what a thing to re-learn, to sit through with a therapist, to trust that process. From the sound of T, she does not and will not hate you, no matter what "horribleness" you hand to her. Just because horrible things have happened to us does not make you a horrible person. Her message seemed to say, at the end when she smiled and said next week is no holiday - "I am still here, caring about what is best for you, and do not think you're horrible". Your T is trying to show you, not everyone is going to respond to you like those in your past. She is gently trying to show you that she, and others, can be so different. But, you do have to allow her to show you.