Hi everybody,

I thought I should keep you posted! You helped me a lot with your advice.
Today, I am over the hill and even though I still meet this guy I am now the wiser.
I told him a few months ago in a note to leave me alone with his disrespectful behavior and I didn't see him for a while and when I did he was pretty angry but left me alone. At last!!!! He even went to great length to avoid me. I have never felt that important in a twisted way.
He even thought about what I said! I am organizing an exhibition and he went to see it last week and took friends along whom he told about my pictures. The week after that he went again with other friends and he told me he loved my work (I believe that. I know his tastes). Yea, well thanks. Boy, was I surprised ! I wondered if he had some temperature.
I joined their group after a while and he mentionned the note about his behavior so I explained to him what I meant. He apologized and said he didn't mean harm but this brand new friendship is a bit fishy to me.
There was a very sweet girl in the group who turned out to be his girlfriend. They both told me that it was over between them (they broke up it seems around the time I wrote the note but it may very well be a coincidence, Christmas time being a typical braking up period). He told me about his brake up with a big enthusiastic smile maybe hoping that that would attract me (well, I was just talking to her about his behavior) or trying to be provocative (to get even with his ex). The poor girl was clearly hoping for a reunion, but he got drunk (obviously trying to escape any discussion) and he talked to me the whole evening (I felt a bit embarrassed, he didn't even look once in her direction). She doesn't live here and he didn't really seem to care about her in the past year even though he planned to buy an appartment with her (he plans a lot). They broke up right after making those fantastic plans (I suspect she dumped him because he didn't show enough interest).
This is amazing, don't you think??? His behavior doesn't make more sense than before. He is on friendly terms with me now but I am not sure I want to keep contact at all. The last note made quite an effect so maybe I should once again state clearly that now that he is single (if they don't go back together), it doesn't mean that he can play the same game with me than he played with her.
She said she had to wait, in love as in friendship, for him to come along and sometimes to force him a little bit. Didn't do her any good so far, did it ? He can't stand criticism at all (very low self-esteem). He is a great friend according to his male friends and some of his female friends but I am not sure I should risk any kind of relationship with him. Even though some things seem to have changed in his behavior towards me, which really amazes me, I wonder if it isn't too good to be true. He always tried to keep me around. He still does without risking anything. On the other hand, he seems still jealous about my friendship with his best friend and I guess he doesn't want to suffer again like he did.
His ex-girlfriend said to me : "he will never change". Towards her or in general? Should I wait and see if his behavior has really changed or should I just avoid him as I did in the last 3 months ? It is tricky. Usually I don't give second chances but my behavior may have been suspicious to him as well (best friend).
I saw him today in front of the supermarket. He didn't come over (snow storm) but he smiled and was very friendly. I am very very suspicious, you know, given his past ambiguous behavior. It is rare enough for people to evolve but has he really or is it just temporary and superficial?

Is he really the kind who needs soft bullying ?

At the same time I wrote him a note, I wrote another to his best friend, telling him that I had no intention of interfering with his relationship to his girlfriend and that I didn't appreciate some of the things he said. It also had quite an effect but he is much more self-confident. We are very good friends now but he didn't come to my exhibition. You can't have it all it seems.