I too am used to looking after my family and friends, but don't get anything back. My T has said I need to learn to ask for what I need as an alternative to SI - yeah right and how exactly do I know what that is and how do I ask for it once I do know what it is and how will I feel if I spend all that time deciphering my needs asking for them and then not getting them met - I'm with you with the pity party I think. Take care